How to get a friend back after you hurt them

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Friendships go through rough patches from time to time. As humans, it’s normal to sometimes disagree with friends.

However, friendships can be tricky, and they can be broken in an instant if you don’t maintain them or keep the lines of communication open but don’t worry! It is never too late to get your friend back.

So today, I’m sharing how to get a friend back after you hurt them. No, this is not the kind of hurt where the friendship has ended permanently.

We’re talking more like one of those situations where someone did something really wrong, but it wasn’t out of malice or with bad intentions. So let’s share how to get get back into friendship mode.

It is important to revive relationships from the past.

One of the worst arguments I ever got into with a friend was due to miscommunication on both of our parts. It was my bachelorette weekend, and I felt very little effort was taken into planning it.

My friend felt I was unappreciative.

We both said things we shouldn’t have said. If you want to start over or get your friend back, this guide will help you figure out the steps you need when it comes to how to get a friend back after you hurt them, including my own personal experience.

How to get a friend back after you hurt them

How To Win Your Friend Back After You’ve Hurt Them

Acknowledge what happened

Some people get into arguments and pretend it never happened. Acting like a situation never happened may work for some, but it doesn’t help prevent the situation from ever occurring again.

It doesn’t allow both parties to understand each other. It doesn’t help both parties understand what went wrong and how to improve in the future, so it doesn’t occur again.

Acknowledge what happened first. Don’t ignore it. Don’t act like it never happened. Don’t suppress it. Acknowledge the situation for what it is.

Apologize to your friend.

Second, you’ll need to apologize to your friend for what happened. An apology isn’t about making excuses or playing the blame game; it’s simply expressing regret.

So make sure to be honest with yourself when thinking about how you’ve wronged them and accept responsibility for any part you had in breaking up the friendship.

It’s not just enough that they know that you’re sorry, but also that they feel like you understand where they’re coming from. An effective apology can immediately clear the air and set the tone for rekindling friendship conditions again.

If your friendship was broken due to something that happened a while ago, then apologize and explain that you didn’t think it was relevant anymore, but you’ll do whatever is necessary for them to no longer feel hurt despite the time that has passed.

If your friendship is just starting to sour, then apologize for whatever went wrong and ask them what would help them forgive you.


Let your friend know that you want to repair the relationship.

After apologizing to your friend, it’s vital to let them know that you want to repair the friendship and that you will do what you can to get your friendship back healthy.

Ask them if they’re willing to talk and begin the process of rebuilding trust. Let your friend know that you are not trying to dismiss their feelings or the issue but instead want to take responsibility for any wrongs and work through it together.


Show genuine remorse and change your behavior going forward.

This is a big one. It’s not enough to just say, “I’m sorry,” if you don’t plan on correcting the bad behavior that caused you and your friend to fall out in the first place.

Instead, you need to prove that you understand why your friend is upset and demonstrate that you are committed to not repeating the same mistakes again.

This could involve apologizing for specific actions or words, understanding the consequences of your behavior, and making a commitment to be more respectful and considerate in future interactions.

Showing genuine remorse will go a long way in helping to repair the damage caused by your actions.

Make time for some friendship activities.

Once your apology has been accepted, make time for friendship and activities. Perhaps going out to eat, going to a duo paint night, or something that will allow you two to start rekindling your friendship.

I don’t suggest waiting around after the apology and not interacting with each other because it may make the friendship problems worse. Especially if they feel like you’re blowing them off or trying to brush the issue under the rug.

It’s also important that you don’t use this excuse as a way of avoiding friendship issues in general. Plan time to hang out, chat, or partake in friendship activities together.

If you’re seeing your friend more frequently, then that’s a good sign that friendship conditions are headed in the right direction!

Here are some friendship activities you can do (to help repair a friendship)

  • Go out to lunch or dinner. A meal out can offer a chance for you and your friend to chat in a relaxed atmosphere outside of your usual environment.
  • Take a walk together. Taking a walk with your friend can give you both the opportunity to catch up and talk about what’s been going on in your lives.
  • Take a fitness class together (if that’s your thing!) A fitness class can be a great way to bond while getting some physical activity.
  • Go on an adventure. Go exploring somewhere new or take a road
  • Attend a show. Whether it’s a movie, a concert, or a theater, sharing these experiences with friends can be really special.
  • Create something together. Paint, draw, sculpt, build a model, or write something together. Creating something together can be both fun and rewarding!


Be Patient

It’s also important to be patient and understanding if your friend needs time to forgive you. Know that it can be a process, and as long as you are honest and sincere, hopefully, they will come around.

Don’t be too pushy or demanding, and try to be understanding of their feelings. You can call or text them every few days, but don’t constantly bombard them with messages.

Just make sure always to keep an open line of communication available, so your friend knows you’re there if they want to talk. Let them know that you respect their decision and that you still care about them regardless.


Know the good in goodbye.

This isn’t the ideal ending, but sometimes your friend may not want to remain friends, and in that case, it’s best to respect their wishes.

Know that some friendships have reasons and seasons, and sometimes the friendship was only meant to be temporary. The good news is you can still look back on the happy memories you created with your friend fondly and learn from the situation moving forward so that in the future, you can be the best friend possible for future friendships.

You may be surprised at how many lessons you can learn from even the most unexpected friendships. Holding on to the good times and letting go of the bad creates an empowering opportunity to grow and evolve in the future. Know that goodbye is not forever but simply a time to reflect on what was and look forward to what could be

Read: When to stop reaching out to a friend


Advice from my own friends

I asked a few of my friends for their advice when it comes to how to get a friend back after you hurt them. Here’s what they say…

“Apologize for what happened and tried to meet up with them soon after. I highly recommend treating them if you were in the wrong. Treating them to dinner or a drink”

“Learn how to be the bigger person and sincerely apologize when you’re wrong. Not only that, but learn from the situation. No one wants apology after apology if the actions remain the same. Apologize and change your actions.”

“Friendship, just like any relationship, will have tough times. However, it’s also important to acknowledge, apologize and ensure actions moving forward align with that apology so you can have a healthy, happy and thriving friendship with your pal.”

Here are a few tips and advice from my own friends, and yes, I’ve had disagreements with them too! The most important part is that we are open to communicating, open to apologizing, and committed to maintaining healthy friendships.



Friendships go through rough patches. As humans, it’s totally normal to sometimes get into disagreements with friends.

It’s important to remember that many arguments can be worked through and resolved. If you’re struggling with a disagreement, try talking it out with your friend.

Show that you’re willing to listen and be open to their side of the story. If both sides are patient, it’s likely that a compromise can be achieved.

Friends are a valuable part of life, so it’s important to take the time to nurture your relationships.

A good friendship is built on mutual trust, respect, and support. Show your friend that you care by spending quality time together, helping each other out when needed, and being honest with each other. It’s also important to forgive mistakes, as no one is perfect.

Do you have any advice when it comes to how to get a friend back after you hurt them? Let me know in the comments below!

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Breonna Queen is a retired makeup artist, full-time blogger, and style expert. She loves spin class, brunch with friends, and helping women find joy in their everyday life. Her content has been featured on OWN, HBO, 10news, Bustle, HuffPost, and Buzzfeed. She also runs, a blog sharing content creation & passive income tips.

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